The opening speaker at The Wellness Festival last Sunday was none other than Melissa Ambrosini, author of the best-selling self-help book ‘Mastering Your Mean Girl’ and all-round self-love preacher and teacher.
Melissa has been on a mission to help women turn the volume down on that negative inner voice we all have. You know that one? The one that says we’re not good enough? Not smart enough, pretty enough, fit enough, skinny enough, whatever enough?
Melissa calls that voice your ‘Mean Girl’ and, in her book and online community, she gives practical advice on how to kick that girl to the kerb.
Because if you don’t, all the healthy eating, yin yoga, oil pulling and meditation is basically a waste of your time, energy and cash. You’ll still feel like crap if you don’t get that Mean Girl to shut up already.
Given we’ve all been living with this ‘Mean Girl’ for a loooooong time, taming her is not necessarily going to be easy. In fact, Melissa says she will always be with you. It’s just about how much time you give her, how much power you allow her to have.
Start with these three steps, says Melissa, and you’ll soon take command of her volume control button.
Start by simply being aware of what your Mean Girl is saying to you. It will be different for everyone, so you need to pay attention and be aware of the conversations you’re having with her.
Awareness shines light on what was once dark.
Write down what she is telling you and personify your Mean Girl so that you consciously separate yourself from it. For example “My Mean Girl is currently telling me that I’m not smart enough to get that job”.
Make this awareness a daily commitment.
2. Gently close the door on her
Picture your Mean Girl as an annoying salesperson. You don’t need to be rude, but you do need to be firm. Thanks, but no thanks.
Don’t invite her in, you don’t have to listen.
Gently close the door on her. She will come knocking again (unfortunately!) but as you master her, that knock will get softer and softer.
3. Choose love instead
If you’re not loving something about your life, then you need to change it or accept it. If you choose to accept it, it’s much easier to do that if you find the love in it.
For example, if you are in a job that you don’t want to be doing, change that situation. And if that’s impossible, then look for the positive – be grateful this job, for the time being, is paying your bills, putting a roof over your head or teaching you a new skill.
These three steps are a great start, thanks Melissa. If you’re anything like me, though you’ll probably need a bit more guidance to stop that negative self-talk.
So if you’re after a bit more help mastering your Mean Girl, buy Melissa’s book and tell that Mean Girl to zip it.
Buy Mastering Your Mean Girl from: